


Torchwood - A Day in the Life One-Shot - Date Night (Ianto)

by Feral_Female



Category: Torchwood
Genre: AU, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Rain, Romance, Vegetable Talk, movies - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 08:10:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10382304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feral_Female/pseuds/Feral_Female
Summary: It’s time for another “Day in the Life” short. These are not part of the major storyline’s time line.For those new to me and my world, these one-shots will be short little vignettes- some will be funny, some emotional, some erotic - but all will be either Jack or Ianto showing us the daily little mundane things in their lives, the things that they fight to preserve for us and for them.To quote Rhys Williams - “You do it so people can live their lives. And there’s nothing more important than that.”





	

**A Day in the Life**  

 

**Date Night (Ianto)**

(Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.)

 

 

“Look at the line.”

Jack and I had come around the corner and paused. Well, _he_ had paused to complain. I had kept walking into the damp wind, the thick fog and light rain beginning to soak through my coat.

“It’ll move quickly,” I replied over the shoulder that rested by my ear. “Once they open the lobby to the cinema the queue will zip along,” I added more for myself than for my reluctant date.

“But until it does we have to stand out here in the rain,” Jack reminded me.

“Yes, we might have to stand out in the rain.”

“Standing out in the rain sucks, Ianto.”

“Yes, yes it does, Jack, but it’s merely rain. Your coat and hair will dry.”

“Easy for you to say. It’s not you who’ll have a hundred pounds of soaking wet wool on his back.”

“You _could_ take it off,” I reminded him as we stepped up behind a young couple snogging under an umbrella. “I’m also reasonably sure that the gel you use to get your hair to stay in that rakish style will hold up under some rain.”

“I do not gel my hair. It falls this way naturally,” he quickly replied, his attention fully on the man and woman sucking on each other’s mouths.

“Right, of course it does. Those bottles and tubes of hair gel lying on the bathroom counter are all mine.” The line began to move. We took a few steps. The couple ahead of us moved as well but never broke apart.

“Glad you could come clean about your gel obsession.” He gave me a wink. “So, this give you any ideas?” He jerked his wet – and still perfectly styled head – at the couple in front of us. “That could be us if we just went home.”

“Jack, it’s been months since we ventured out on a date.” He opened his mouth. “Hunting Weevil’s and breaking up rings of aliens who are selling drugs made from the dust of Saturn’s rings does _not_ count as a date.” He shut his mouth.

The two in front of us stumbled into the wall of a bakery. His hands roamed under her skirt. Jack was blatant about checking out the ass cheek exposed by the flip of a skirt. I was a little more discreet. It was a nice ass overall. A little lacking in muscle and tone but not everyone could have an ass like Jack. Obviously, his perfect bum had soured me for those that were less taut. God. I really did have a problem. There I stood getting a good eyeful of a woman’s backside and all I could do was point out its faults in comparison to Jack’s ass? How sad. I need help. But Jack really did have a better ass.

He leaned over to whisper in my ear. “You’re thinking about my ass, aren’t you?”

“I - you…pft.”

“I thought so. You get this faraway look when you’re fantasizing about me naked. Kind of a hot-under-the-collar expression. It’s very erogenous. Oh, and you wet your lips a lot when you’re lost in those randy little daydreams. Let me take you home and you can nibble on my ass for as long as you want.”

“You stop it. Right now,” I warned Jack then stepped around the couple who were one pair of skivvies away from public indecency. They obviously had no interest in getting into the cinema. There was a large hole in the line so I hurried to close the gap.

“I give up. We’ll see a movie. Which one do you want to see?” Someone behind us sneezed, a woman. Jack and I both said “Bless you” in unison.

“Well, there are several to choose from.”

“Anything is fine.”

“Oh, well then, I thought that new romantic-comedy with Ryan Reynolds might be a nice sort of date night--”

“I only like him as _Deadpool_. He’s just too pretty, don’t you think? I mean, really? It’s kind of unnatural for a man to be that…what?”

“Do you never look in a mirror?”

“All the time.”

“Okay, let’s move on then.” I pulled out my phone and located the theater and the films showing. “How about this thriller starring Liam Neeson?”

“Who did they take this time? His cat?” Jack and I moved forward, the lobby of the cinema now coming into view. The woman behind us sneezed again. We gave her another “Bless you” in tandem.

“Fine. No Liam Neeson. Oh! Here’s a comedy about talking vegetables.” I glanced at Jack. He looked appalled. “It’s supposedly an adult comedy.”

“There are only two things that any adult should be doing with vegetables. One is eating them and the other is lubing them up and slowly inserting them into--”

“Yes, good, I get it.”

 The woman behind us giggled.

“I’m just saying that no person over the age of eight should be seeing a movie about vegetables unless the damn things are chopped up and thrown into soup or smeared with Astro Glide and--”

“Jack, I get it. Really! No comedy about talking vegetables,” I huffed. “That leaves a child’s flick about robots or that movie that you read about on the Cosmo site last night.”

“I just landed on the Cosmo site by accident,” he explained. I wiped the foggy moisture off the screen of my phone.

“So, you weren’t reading about hair products before I turned out the light?”

“It was happenstance that the article I stumbled over totally by accident was about the best mousse for men.”

He looked so earnest. Pity I knew better. “Uh-huh. Well, flip a coin because those are the only two choices left. Kid’s movie or a romantic drama.” I put my phone back into the pocket of my jacket and gave him a surly look. Four more couples and we’d be at the ticket counter so we really needed to decide.

“I don’t care, Ianto. I just want to get out of the rain. We’ll see whichever one you want.” He _was_ looking a little soggy. And exasperated.

“Romantic drama it is.”                                                            

“It doesn’t have Reese Witherspoon in it, does it?”

Oh. My. God. Him and Reese Witherspoon. “No, Jack, it does _not_ have Reese Witherspoon in it.”

“Excuse me.” Jack looked left and I looked right. The sneezy woman behind us was gazing at the two of us as if we were precious little pug dogs or something. She was an older woman, perhaps early sixties, but not as old as Enid. Dirt isn’t as old as Enid. She was tiny with big glasses and a rain coat with matching bonnet. “How long have you two been married?”

“We’re not married,” I quickly explained before Jack began twitching.

“Really now? Well, you sound just like my Peter and I when we were together. He passed on last year and this is my first time to the cinema alone.”

Jack and I exchanged looks. “Would you like to join us… I didn’t catch your name,” Jack said with a smile that could melt ice caps and hearts, be they an old woman or a young man with a Torchwood badge in his wallet.

“My name is Beatrice and I’d not wish to interrupt your date.”

“It really wouldn’t be an interruption at all,” I told her and found that I mostly meant it. Jack inclined his head and gave me a look that warmed me to my toes, which was good because my feet were wet and cold. “We’d love to have your company.”

“Well, if you insist.” I offered her my elbow and she latched onto it. “I’m here to see _The Happy Robot_ because I just love singing robots. But we can see what you two gents want to see. I’m just happy to have the company.”

 

The animated movie about singing robots wasn’t half bad.

 

 

**The End**


End file.
